Learning Love

As a kid I always thought I knew what love was. It's that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you like someone, right?

Then as a teenager I really thought I knew what it was. It was what I felt for my first boyfriend, right? Always wanting to be together, and that rush of hormones when you kiss.

And even as a 'somewhat' adult when I got married, I thought I knew what love was. It was wanting to wake up next to that person every day, even when they didn't look so good or smell so nice.

Boy was I wrong.

I don't think I learned what love truly is until the day my daughter was born.

From her first cry, that made me cry, I felt it.

That unfathomable love. As a friend has said "it hits you like a ton of bricks." And it does. It washes over you, and from that second, you know that that tiny human just came out of you, you know that they are priority number one. Nothing and no one can take their place. You want them to have everything they've ever wanted or anything they will ever want.

You think about them for every second of every day. You constantly worry about them. Or maybe I'm just crazy. Haha.

I have never felt this kind of love before. This all consuming, take your breath away kind of love.

I had made the choice to do adoption before my daughter was born, but as she was born, I almost changed my mind.

And then that love hit me.
And I knew that this was the right choice. I was willing to put aside my feelings and suffer every day if I had to, to make sure that she was happy. I would do whatever it took to make sure she was safe and sound.

Don't get me wrong, I had put people I thought I loved first before. But man, this feeling was so entirely different.

I had told people I would die for them before, but this little girl, oh in a heartbeat I would. No second thought whatsoever.

From the second I heard that first cry I was hooked, wrapped, and super glued around her finger.

I hope that someday I feel that for someone I want to spend my life with, but for now I'm perfectly content with giving my daughter all of that love!