Sunday, January 4, 2015

The Greatest Gift I've Ever Been Given

No this isn't a story about how one Christmas I got an iPod or and Xbox. This is about how one Christmas I was given parents who loved my child as their own.

My beautiful daughter was born on December 20th 2014, at 7:04pm. She was and is my world. But she's also two other people's entire world.

I never thought that someday I'd be watching my daughter grow up over pictures or video calls. I never thought that she'd live in a different state from me. But I made a choice, to give that beautiful girl the life she deserved. I grew up struggling, watching my step-dad go from job to job, where ever the money was. Don't get me wrong, sometimes we had extra money and could do fun things. But sometimes we barely scraped by. And I always told myself, "when I have a kid, they're gonna have anything and everything they've ever wanted." I had plans. Go to college, get married, have two kids, and be a teacher.

So imagine my surprise when I found out I was a month pregnant, by a guy I barely knew. I mean I barely knew this guys last name. I didn't even know his birthday! (Go ahead, judge me.)

So I had to tell him, right? Well that didn't go very well. He wasn't ready for a baby, and the more I thought about it, neither was I. So I started looking into my options. Abortion was a definite no. And then I came across a website for an adoption agency named Adoption Choices of Oklahoma. I was curious, so I gave them a call. I got a call back about an hour later, and we set up a meeting for another day. (I can't remember if it was the next day or the following Monday.)

So they picked me up, and we went to a McDonald's down the street from my house. I think I asked them a million questions about things I was worried about. They had an answer for every single one. Towards the end of the meeting, I knew this was the choice I had to make. And then began the process.

I'll never forget the day I chose Kat and Lance.

My caseworker/new best friend Kirsten and I sat in a Chick-fil-a around breakfast time. She had three different profiles for me to look at. Theirs was the first one I picked up. As I started to read it, I knew they were the ones. They had a big happy family, a cute little kitten, and man did they look happy. I'm not a very religious person, I believe in God and I pray. But I believe that day God told me, these are the people who were made to raise your daughter. I got about halfway through the profile and started crying my eyes out.

Kirsten asked me I was okay. I looked at her and said "these are the ones." She asked me if I was sure and if I wanted to look at any others. I didn't. I knew they were it.

About two weeks later we had our first phone call, I was too nervous to really even talk.

And then they came to visit for the first time. I was so nervous to meet them! And I had just been released from the hospital the day before with kidney stones! I was worn out, but I still really wanted to meet them. We met for lunch at a little Mexican place downtown. I'll never forget that Kirsten and Kat were talking about their sorority, and Lance and I just kept giving each other the 'kill me now' look. Ha!

The next couple days went really well, but I had the feeling Lance didn't like me very much. I was sad. So I asked. And I found out that they had gone through another adoption that hadn't ended well, and they were still trying to heal from it. So I tried really hard to get him to like me. After they left we were texting all the time. Then they told me they were coming down for my birthday! I was excited!

When Kat arrived we spent the two days before Lance arrived almost inseparable! We had dinner the day before my birthday with my friend Alexis. And I finally felt like Lance was starting to like me, haha. After that it was daily texts, and phone calls. We were very close!

As my due date got closer, Kat drove over to be with me. She helped me study and pass my GED! (I am very lucky!) And she helped me try all the ridiculous things to try and induce labor. I was so tired of being pregnant! Haha!

And then came the day I was induced.

As I watched how they paced, or waited, I knew that these two were going to be great parents. They were so worried about how I was doing, and if I was okay. Kat was consistently by my side asking if I needed anything, even just a hand to hold during a contraction. I think I truly fell in love with them as they sat with me. We talked, laughed a little, and I napped.

When I found out I had to have a c-section, I bawled. And they were right there to comfort me and reassure me.

After she was born and I was wheeled back into my room, I saw their faces light up as soon as they saw her. It was amazing. These people who hadn't known me ten months ago, were so in love with this little girl. This little girl who was not their biological daughter and they were just as in love with her as I was! They had waited for this moment and now she was our daughter.

I think she was our daughter from the very moment she was conceived. There wasn't another way for this to go. I wasn't supposed to raise her. There was a plan already set for us, and even though we didn't know it at the time, we were meant to meet.

I'm so blessed and lucky to have them in my life. They are amazing parents, and I love them.

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